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Grief is really effing weird, I tell ya. I thought I processed everything, but then some weird stuff sneak attacks me. Like crying in the grocery store every time I enter one. Or only wearing all black. Or introducing myself as Jae to new people, possibly as a way to create distance. Maybe as a way to reshape my identity. Haven't quite figured it out yet. I don't think I'm actually doing as well as I think I am. I kept cycling through the stages of grief to be able to

I’ve been wearing all black lately, starting maybe a month after Mommy died. Only when I leave the house though… like if I must be perceived it is in all black. Maybe my sneakers or shoes have color. A bit of gold for my wedding band. Even my glasses are clear with black bits. When I look in the mirror and check for the ever present orange cat hair that seems to cling to my freaking spirit at this point, I laugh at my outfit and think to myself “I’m still in mourning, I can w